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Feeling of Failure in Autism

The environment, in general, can be very hostile towards people within the autism spectrum disorder; either by sensory saturation, by incomprehension of what’s happening, by zero empathy on the part of others towards him or her. We’re talking about an environment that makes it difficult daily, and as a result, we see that those pleasant moments are scarce.

But we must not forget that the person can develop a sustained sense of failure, an aspect that often begins in childhood. When a child with problems managing his own emotions and frustration presents explosive behaviors, he receives, in many cases, a correction of inappropriate behavior. That is, in the face of frustration at not being able to do something, he gets an attitude that he perceives as correct.

Autism and failure

This feeling of failure accompanies low self-esteem. A problem that, although many believe it wakes up in adolescence, we can begin to observe it in childhood. And there’s nothing sadder than seeing 5-year-olds with low self-esteem, although it’s sadder to see that nobody notices.

This can difficult the social life of the person with autism, and generate not only anxiety, frustration, and irritability, but also a sensation of failure. This can lead the person with autism to never assume new challenges in the future; creating a depressing feeling, which must be identified and stopped as soon as possible.

Working the self-determination and independence of the person is fundamental. It’s very important that we have as one of our objectives to promote independence, always create the necessary supports, and make sure that the person understands the process so he can succeed. The emotional reinforcer, always suitable to the age and environment of the person with autism, must be present in every step of the process.

Promoting independence and self-determination will strengthen the emotional state, the person must understand that things don’t always come out the first time.

The states of anxiety in people with autism are present since childhood. Understanding this is essential to develop educational and intervention programs in autism.

A program of emotional reinforcement is indicated for these situations.

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Autism: What Will Happen When Parents Are no Longer Around?

One of the concerns we parents have about children with autism is related to the future in all its dimensions. We know that we are not eternal and that temporality marks our passage through life: one day, inevitably, we will leave our children’s life.

The biggest question arises: who will take care in our absence of our son with autism when we are no longer around? It’s a concern that we carry within us; perhaps it’s not a topic that we discuss with the professionals who assist us in the intervention and care of our children. However, it’s something that worries us, and we need guidance.

What will happen to my child who has autism when I am no longer around?

If the child has siblings, we may begin to think of their brother or one of them as the future recipient of a special responsibility: to entrust the guardianship and custody. Our neurotypical children know this, or at least they intuit it as they get older. That is to say; his future already carries a component of commitment: his sibling with autism.

It’s a complex and delicate issue because we must not compromise the freedom of our neurotypical children. Therefore, within our possibilities, the planning of the lives of our children with some level of dependence has to be done, so it can be addressed when we are no longer there.

Assuming the guardianship must be a voluntary act of one of the brothers, it can’t be forced. The commitment arises from love, and that’s something we parents have to cultivate.

We must seek the highest level of financial autonomy for the person with autism (learning a job that ensures their livelihood), and achieve the greatest acquisition of independence of daily life and self-care skills of our child with autism. Prepare him to fend for himself as much as possible.

Talk openly to the family about the diagnosis and difficulties of the child with ASD, spend time with your neurotypical children, have a special time to share and talk with them too. We must avoid encouraging the feeling of “not being rewarded.” It’s also important to teach our child with autism to respect the personal space of their siblings.

As parents, we must create a family environment in which the autism of one of the children is lived naturally, without complexes and resolving fears. It facilitates the relationship between the members of the family and ensures that, in the absence of one, the others will come out in support.

In the absence of one, the others will come out in support.

Caring for our neurotypical children’s good relationship with their siblings with autism is a determining factor in their future quality of life.

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The Correct Behavior that Parents of Children With Autism Should Have

The children modify their parents’ behavior, and not the other way around, as is usually thought. Yes, as you read. It often happens that parents are the only ones subjected to behavior modification processes, which are provided by children, whether they have autism or not.

In this article, we explain everything about it. Keep on reading!

Autism and parents: behavior

Not everyone has the knowledge, the disposition, the time, the patience, or all the skills that are necessary for the learning process of a child with autism. And if nobody explains anything to you, nobody advises you, and no one guides you, there are many chances that you’ll be making several mistakes.

In many cases, the children have perfect control of their house. They do what they want, get away with it, and they can do things that other children are not allowed to. The main reason for this is the autism. We can’t forget that the children with autism are, above all, children; therefore, they will do the things that children usually do.

The misbehaviors of the children with autism are encouraged, or awarded, or allowed, or excused since the child has autism. The result: the child has no limits, no discipline, and learns to get what he wants, when he wants, and in an inappropriate way.

How to prevent our son from modifying our behavior?

We must be very clear about what behaviors we want to eliminate, and to what point we have encouraged them. This is something to consider: we could be the ones encouraging these behaviors, without realizing it.

  • Don’t give in to requests out of place.
  • Don’t turn the child into the center of attention.
  • Ensure that the child understands what you want him to do.
  • Be tenacious and coherent. Nothing is worse than not allowing something today but accepting it tomorrow.
  • Teamwork and constant communication with the therapist or school. Establish the same guidelines and limits in all contexts of the child’s life.

It’s important to avoid being managed by the children, this will lead us to very complex situations. Controlling the behavior of children with ASD is not easy, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible; having professionals who support and advise us is always a great help. But don’t forget that a teacher or therapist only spends a couple hours with our child, while we parents are with them all the time; we must strive to educate and establish a good relationship with them. This will result in a good quality of life in the family.

There are many techniques to handle these situations, but we must keep in mind that each child is a world, so a little creativity and analysis will come in hand to manage their character and help them to have good behavior.


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Autism and Bad Behavior

We know that the misbehavior of our children can become stressful and frustrating when we don’t know why these attitudes are present. Whether it is a child with ASD or not, bad behavior is something that parents and teachers must take into account to seek solutions.

In today’s article, we give you a list of ideas and advice regarding the behavior problems of your son or daughter, or one of your students. The vast majority apply to any child, whether or not they have an ASD.

How to deal with the child’s behavior

We know that sometimes bad behavior in our children can become a headache. The objective is not to spoil them but to teach them to handle different situations and to control their impulses. With this list, you can have a little more guidance when facing a behavior situation with your child.

  • Frequent behavior: any behavior has a reason to be. A child with ASD may use bad behavior to communicate that he doesn’t understand what’s happening or how to express his frustration when things aren’t as he expects. So pay attention to what might be happening.

  • Bad behavior isn’t removed with bad compression: we have to learn to respond to these bad attitudes, to act calm and not to react in a bad way, this could increase the anger. The idea is to teach him to change that behavior for another that is acceptable.

  • Wait for him to calm down: don’t try to impose discipline or correct him when he’s angry, distracted, overstimulated, locked up, anxious or in any other emotional state where his instability at that moment prevents him from interacting with you.

  • Be positive: instead of telling him what he doesn’t have to do, tell him what he has to do. Reinforce when he has done something right. Use a positive language that encourages the child to keep on acting well.

  • Practice with him: all children need to repeat an activity until it’s incorporated into their daily life. A child with an ASD may need more time and more repetitions. It’s better to practice in a quiet environment and, when he has mastered it, provide some variations to expand this learning.

  • Explain: it’s easier for any child to do something if he understands the reasons. If you ask him to behave in a certain way because it is the best for his safety and for his health, correctly tell him at an appropriate level for his age and personal characteristics.

  • Sensory problems: investigate if there is a sensory problem. A common reason for the bad behavior is feeling discomfort for some sensory input, whether visual, auditory, tactile or otherwise.

  • Search for good partners: teachers, therapists, and pediatricians sometimes have good ideas that they have been able to prove in their work. Exchange information with them, try some of those things.  

  • Exercise: physical activity is an excellent way to stabilize mental processes and to teach self-control. Team sports that require good coordination, skills, and social interactions can help you reduce stress. At Autism Soccer, we would be happy to talk to you and help you by providing some ideas and techniques to handle these situations.

Start paying attention and identify the circumstances in which a bad behavior appears, any information that helps you to correct it is important. One of the great ideas that exist for good development in the behavior, health, and abilities of your child, is the sports.

Autism Soccer has programs for the development of your child.

Contact us for more information!

Educating a child with ASD requires time, effort, and flexibility.


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Autism: Social Disability?

Every day more people refer to autism spectrum disorders (ASD) as social disabilities, and it indeed has a lot of social components. We are not talking about a matter of physical health, but about a social health one. One of the most significant problems that the person with ASD faces is the social exclusion at all levels, which in many cases also affects the family.

This exclusion generates a series of problems. The society in which the person with ASD must develop is usually not prepared for the social inclusion of such a “novel” concept of diversity.

Is autism a social disability?

Initially, the term “social disability” was attributed to people who were at risk of social exclusion because of poverty or race. In the case of people with autism, it’s the difficulty to establish channels of social interaction according to the accepted cultural norm of the environment in which the person lives.

The person with autism is ruled, it’s not understood that it should be accepted in the group, because of its difficulty for this interaction. The social group is simply inaccessible to those who present a minimum degree of difficulty. Therefore, the “disability” of the person isn’t something attributable to it, but rather a social imposition.

This social exclusion can affect not only the person with ASD but also their family members. Most people with ASD don’t have problems of mobility or health, but they do have deficiencies in the communication aspects of social management. Gaps that can be improved if the person has access to the media and to society, which generates an interaction that could help them integrate with their peers.

Although there’s much talk about inclusive education, the reality is that it doesn’t exist. It’s not the education the one that should be inclusive, but the society. Technicians, specialists, relatives, and affected people see with despair how the future of these people is obscured by the lack of consideration and inclusion.

Autism spectrum disorders aren’t known, they aren’t understood; thus they aren’t contemplated. This situation entails the elimination of the identity of the person with ASD.

More inclusion, less rejection!

Autism itself can’t define a person, the use of the attribute as a social conditioner entails the impulse of exclusion, and of the social rarity.


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